Just a little bit from our 2020 Vision Party Q1 meeting. Worksheet available for download. Contact me for a Free 20 minute consultation
When you change how you look at things what you are looking at changes. Positive energy vibrates at a higher frequency than negative energy so it brings you up as negative energy brings you down. By taking agency to reframe how you see life you learn to experience it in a more positive way.
Preparing for this decade I hosted a couple life coaching events to help people set up their vision for 2020. It was such a great practice and I loved watching all of the participants dig deep to search themselves to define what they wanted their life to look like. One of my greatest joys is to create space for people to practice self reflection, self care and personal development.
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One of my favorite authors of all time is Dr. Brené Brown. I love to hear her speak even more so I usually listen to her audiobooks with her as the narrator. I listen to a lot of books. It’s my preferred way of learning. I especially appreciate the fact that she’s also an introvert. It always takes people by surprise when I say that I am an introvert because I am not shy. But the two traits are not mutually exclusive. I am very selective about who I interact with because people drain me. I am also an empath so I can feel the emotions of the people around me. Oftentimes the people that I am most intimately connected can be even more draining. But back to Dr. Brené.
Dr. Brené has done many years of research on shame. She has written many books on how courage, fear, and vulnerability play huge roles in us establishing deep connections with people and with living life wholeheartedly. I have not found a lie in any one word she has spoken or written. I urge you to read all of her work. And because I love and respect her so much, I will also not attempt to summarize her life’s work. I will only attempt to explain one concept that I believe she explains throughout her work. But please understand that these are my words.
Get Real with Yourself!
We live in a society where we are expected to put on a mask. Our current social construct has our ego in the driver’s seat. We want to look good, feel good, be right and be in control. But when we are real with ourselves sometimes we do not look good, we do not feel good, we are not right and we are not in control. Unfortunately, to put it plainly we are running around scared that someone might figure out that we do not have it all together. News Flash!!! No one has it all together. I have seen and even ascribed to the message of the suffering servant.
The one that is strong that takes care of everyone but no one cares for in return. I found two things to be flawed when I hear people (even myself) get on this tangent. First, I ask if the suffering servant let the people around them know they needed help. The majority of the time the answer is no. I would say a good 85% of the time the answer is no. My follow up question is usually why? Which takes some time to unpack because our ego works very hard to blame everyone instead of just claiming whatever fear is really looming. Now, I understand that sometimes we need help and the people close to us are unable to help but we have an opportunity to be seen and heard.
Once we have dug deep enough to get to the fear and separation, I circle back around to the second problem with this logic. “When did you figure out you were overtaxed?” This is where the work is done. We need to get real with ourselves on how much we can take. PERIOD. I am responsible for not saying not; no one else. Brené also writes, “Clarity is Kind.” Letting people know where you are is a form of being kind. It takes courage and vulnerability. They may judge you and that it is going to happen from time to time whether you know of it or not. The most important thing is, you have done the hard work to get real with yourself. Once you are real and clear with yourself you can start to set boundaries with yourself and others. Understand what you are willing to tolerate and what is not ok with you.
There is a pivotal point in each of our lives around the age of two or three when we start to ask the question, “Why?” I was about nine years old when my little brother Kris went through another why stage. It almost drove me to lose my mind. He had more questions than any of us had answers. Even today he still has more questions than I have answers for, but at least now Google exists. I can’t be too mad at my brother though. According to our father, I have been asking people why as long as he can remember. He said I made him understand that it was the most powerful word in the English language. I still drive my friends, family, and clients crazy with why questions; but they tolerate me because my why questions are effective.
As children we ask why as we try to understand the world around us. As we get older sometimes we forget to continue asking. This is where my why questions come in. I seek to dig down into the root of the Thoughts, Beliefs, and Decisions that my clients make. Conventionally speaking TBD means To Be Determined. Thoughts, Beliefs, and Decisions will determine how your life with progress. Thoughts become things has become a wide understood concept thanks to the many contributes and thought leaders who took part in Rhonda Byme’s book, “The Secret” from a mental-spiritual perspective. And has been confirmed by doctors like Dr. Bruce Lipton from a biological perspective in, “The Biology of Belief.” I believe that we know more now about how to create the life we want to live.
Knowing is not enough. It takes work. It takes self reflection and sometimes we need help navigating the parts of our personality that make us uncomfortable. Digging in on TBDs in very challenging and many will cut themselves short by saying I don’t know. But if we don’t know ourselves we limit ourselves and our potential.
As we dig into our Whys and TBDs we find that many of them were caught rather than taught. Here’s a helpful exercise. Look at your everyday life. We brush our teeth the way we do because our parents taught us as a kid. Our wake up routine is the same since high school or the military. We raise our children the way we were raised. We keep on keeping on the way we have because we feel like it’s worked this long but do we know the why behind it? While you are looking at your Whys and TBDs do so without judgment. No weighing in if it is good or bad, justified or unjustified. Rather, the best measurement is only if it still serves your greatest good.
How you gonna win when you ain’t right within?
– Lauryn Hill
By the time most I meet me a lot of people, they are asking me to fix something. Like my infamous friend and client Gayl who literally asked to “fix it” when she wanted to lose weight after her son was born. Little did she know how much I was going to dig into when she became my client. Like most people, she hadn’t learned to make her internal life and well-being a big enough priority. One day in a conversation with my father, he was sharing about his friend who is very successful. He has a great job, makes great money, and is great with his kids. This same friend is also unhealthy, has unresolved trauma, and is stuck in a rut mentally. I countered by saying without inner peace there is no such thing as success. They haven’t learn to live in peace and make healing the priority. Money can’t buy self-worth, self-esteem and joy. But it can mask it with a bunch of material things. It is much easier to mask what is going on in the inside when you are distracted and validated by what is going on outside.
Anyone who has been on a trip with someone they didn’t like. Whether it’s a sibling on a long road trip or an annoying person sitting beside you on a long plane ride. It is a pretty simple concept to understand that if you are going to spend time with someone you might want to enjoy that person otherwise it’s gonna be rough. Well, the same is true with you and how you deal with yourself. You are going to spend more time with yourself than anyone else in this lifetime. The sooner you get right with you, the easier it is to deal with life.
You might be asking yourself what does it look like when you are “right within.” If you are unfamiliar you should listen to Doo Wop by Lauryn Hill. For the sake of time I will drop these couple bars for you from her song:
Girlfriend, let me break it down for you again
You know I only say it cause I’m truly genuine
Don’t be a hard rock when you really are a gem
Baby girl, respect is just a minimum”
Do you treat yourself like a hard rock or a gem? Do you expect everything to be difficult? Do you act like you can handle a beating? Maybe you can, I’m not saying you can’t. Is that want you deserve? Now, let me delineate, I’m not opposing being strong nor am I demeaning a hard workout neither am I debating whether one should box. I am talking about how you treat yourself within. What are your internal conversations like? How do you care for yourself?
How do we treat gems? With the respect and reverence. We take our time when looking at them; we inspect them. If you are anything like me you might have crystals that you clear, charge, and research. In the same way, our insides are worthy of being cleared, charged, and reflected upon to know what is going on within.
The unexamined life is not worth living?
I believe you should examine and get real with who you are this very minute. Take a quick self-check. This can take 5 minutes or 50 minutes, how ever long you can stand. Sit in quiet, without distractions, and check in with yourself. Start by paying attention to your heartbeat. Next, listen to the rhythm of your breathing. Next, move into to examining what’s on your mind. What are you thinking about? Is it worth your time? Engage your imagination: Try to visualize each thought rise up to the sky and float away with the clouds. After you have thought all of the thoughts and have sat with yourself as long as you can stand, give yourself a big hug. Tell yourself this short affirmation:
I am loved
I am seen
I am safe
In every aspect of my career I am required to focus first on what is going on inside of someone else. I am always trying to find out the root of the issue. In fitness I am looking first at how your body works. I’m looking for any structural compensations your body has made as well as your stability and balance. As a life coach, I dig into what someone wants most and what is holding them back. As a Reiki Practitioner, I see where someone’s energy is low or out of balance. This practice of sitting with yourself is the beginning to any kind of change and growth. Take it easier on yourself. You are a precious gem worthy of care.
Healthy Habits Make for a Happy Existence
As a full time entrepreneur one of my first investments was personal health insurance. There are a few ways you can go about doing this, I found a good broker who has been keeping me on temporary plans that are under $100 a month.
They only last about 3-6 months and once you get a temporary plan once with any particular company you have to move on to a new one. I have enjoyed looking at the different companies in efforts to find which works best for me.
In addition to having personal health insurance I found a few every day practices that have helped me to stay in the best health. Your health is not something to take lightly, especially when you are going to work more than you ever have before IN YOUR LIFE!!!
Today we are going to expand on two practices you can do to Rinse and Spit toxins right out of your body.
Practice One: Oil Pulling Therapy
- Tooth pain
- Stomach and Intestinal Diseases
- Heart Disease
- Blood Disease
- Kidney Disease
- Liver Disease
- Lung Diseases
- Women’s Diseases
- Nerve Disorders
- Retards the growth of and heal malignant tumors
- Cures chronic sleeplessness
- Intensifies the body’s metabolism which can lead to weight loss and improved health
- Can fasten (secure) loose teeth, heal bleeding gums, and whiten teeth
BE CAUTIONED: Oil pulling is a very simple process.
Preparation: Go to the health food store and buy sunflower seed oil. It was $3.99 at Trader Joes. I also use Coconut oil but it is a little more expensive.
Step Two Swish: Move oil slowly around inside of your mouth (rinsing or swishing and pull through the teeth). Do so for for fifteen to twenty minutes as recommended by Dr. Karach puts it. This process makes oil thoroughly mixed with saliva. Swishing activates the enzymes and the enzymes draw toxins out of the blood.
The oil must not be swallowed, for it has become toxic.
As the process continues, the oil gets thinner and white. If the oil is still yellow, it has not been pulled long enough.
Step Three Spit: Spit from the mouth and clean your mouth out really well. Some suggest using normal tap water and good old fingers to clean, I spit it in the toilet then brush my teeth. Then I wash my toothbrush off with boiling hot water. I drink a lot of teas, so, so, I just pour hot water from the tea pot over my toothbrush.
Step Four Clean the sink: You can use some antibacterial soap to clean the sink.
I personally use bleach and use Clorox wipes because the spit contains harmful bacteria and toxic bodily waste.
Practice Two: Gargling with peroxide
The FDA has approved 3% solutions of hydrogen peroxide for use as a mouthwash. Most sources said to use it only for a short time, however, such as part of a treatment of a mouth infection. Although. I had a personal friend who was a dental hygienist for 20 years. She brushed and gargled with it daily to avoid costly dental cleaning procedures.
Gargling with hydrogen peroxide will you kill bacteria in your mouth and help to whiten your teeth. But you have to be careful. Hydrogen peroxide is an acid, and it can damage the tissues in your mouth if you are not careful.
Here is a suggested process to gargle hydrogen peroxide safely
1 . Put one cap-full of hydrogen peroxide into a cup.
3. Pour the mixture into your mouth, but do not swallow.
4 . Swish the liquid around so that it is moved between your teeth to kill bacteria on the gums.
5 . Gargle the liquid by tilting your head back, opening your mouth and exhaling out of your throat. This will help to kill the bacteria that cause sore throats.
6 . Prevent swallowing by closing your mouth and continuing to exhale out of your throat as you lower your head over a sink.
7 . Spit all of the hydrogen peroxide mixture into the sink.
I challenge you to try these two practices at least every other day for the whole month of February. It is the shortest month of the year. Test drive these healthy habits.
Three years ago I came down with a nasty flu. Many of you and your family are dealing with it right now. I didn’t take care of it right and ended up with pneumonia. After fighting off pneumonia with all antibiotics, steroids, and breathing treatments, I was healed. Two weeks later, I caught the flu again. I tried everything over the counter and nothing worked. I prayed hard and decided to take it old school. One of the older ladies in my aqua aerobics class told me about the home remedy below. It may sound nasty but it works every time.
I boiled half an onion and removed the onion. Next, mix into the liquid one tablespoon of cinnamon, the juice of 2 lemons, 2 tablespoons of honey, and one teaspoon of cayenne pepper. Surprisingly enough it tastes really good!
The next day I was feeling much better!
If you’re anything like me, you’re thinking, “Yuck onion tea!”
Let’s examine these ingredients one by one.
Onions contain chemical compounds with potential anti-inflammatory, anti-cholesterol, anti-cancer, and antioxidant properties, such as quercetin.
The World Health Organization recognizes the onion’s ability to help relieve symptoms of the flu such as coughing, congestion, respiratory infections, and bronchitis. Some folks recommend placing sliced onions beside the bed at night, or even just around the house, to help prevent yourself from getting the flu. I am not so sure about that! But after boiling the onion to make a tea I can confirm it works!
Most of us have always been told to drink tea or a hot toddy with lemon and honey when we are not feeling well. Have you ever wandered why? Lemons are not only tasty but they help boost your immune system which helps to fight off a cold or the flu.
Lemons are high in Vitamin C, a natural antioxidant that enhances the immune system. They have antiviral and antibacterial properties. Lemons are also high in potassium which an important mineral that helps the kidneys function to their fullest potential. Proper kidney function also regulates of blood pressure. Kidneys are essential in helping to flush waste from the bloodstream. Lemons also help alkalize the blood and urine by creating an alkaline-forming environment in the body.
“Lemon helps cut mucous,” states the Mayo Clinic, which describes drinking hot water with lemon and honey as a “time-tested recipe.”
Honey is known to bolster the immune system. A daily dose of honey can help you to feel energetic and stay healthy. It also has antibacterial and antimicrobial properties that help fight infections from viruses, bacteria, and fungi. Warning: Don’t give honey to children under 1 years old. Their immune systems aren’t developed enough to ward off infantile botulism, carried in honey spores.
I know you are thinking of sugar, spice, and everything nice but everything nice really means that cinnamon is a potent health hero. Cinnamon is an herb traditionally used by many ancient cultures. It is indicated for a variety of ailments including gastrointestinal problems, urinary tract infections, relieving symptoms of colds, and flu. It has remarkable anti-fungal and anti-bacterial properties. Some studies have shown that Cinnamon helps people with diabetes metabolize sugar better.
Cayenne stimulates digestion and muscle movement within the intestines which helps restore deficient digestive secretions and aids absorption of food nutrients. Cayenne also stimulates circulation and blood flow to the peripheral areas of the body. Any of you who love spicy food know this will warm your tummy and clear your sinuses make you sweat. Cayenne warms the body and stimulates the release of mucus from the respiratory passages. An herb such as cayenne or ginger that promotes sweating is considered to have a diaphoretic (sweat-inducing) action. This action can help reduce fevers and relieve such the congestion of colds and sinusitis.
Again, most of us have heard when our stomach hurts we should drink ginger ale. But the 99 cent store and other grocery markets sell the root. You can peel it, slice it, and boil it. Ginger has been in use since ancient times for its anti-inflammatory, carminative, anti-flatulent, and anti-microbial properties. The root helps improve the intestinal motility and has anti-inflammatory, pain killer, nerve soothing, anti-pyretic as well as anti-bacterial properties. Studies have shown that it may reduce nausea induced by motion sickness or pregnancy and may help relieve migraine headache.
This herb root only has 80 calories per 100 g and contains no cholesterol. Nonetheless, it composes many essential nutrients and vitamins such as pyridoxine (vitamin B-6), pantothenic acid (vitamin B-5) that are required for optimum health.
Furthermore, the herb also contains a good amount of minerals like potassium, manganese, copper, and magnesium. Potassium is an important component of cell and body fluids that helps controlling heart rate and blood pressure.
- Psalms 30:2 Lord my God, I called to you for help,
and you healed me.
- Psalm 103:3 The Lord who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases
- 1 Peter 2:24 “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”
- 3 John 1:2 Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.
- James 5:14-15 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.
1) Take care of yourself
2) Take care of your friends and family
3) Don’t buy into the hype-> Treat the problem not the symptoms. Most over the counter drugs help numb the pain but dont treat the problem. Ask yourself, how would you feel if you were one of the people that found out the hard way that the TheraFlu needed to be recalled?