There is a pivotal point in all of our lives around the age of two or three when we start to ask the question Why? When my little brother Kris went through his why? stage I was about nine years old and I thought I was going to lose my mind. He had more questions than any of us had answers for, a matter of fact, he still has more questions that I have answers for sometimes but at least now he has Google. I can’t be too mad at my brother. According to my father I have been asking people why as long as he can remember. He said I made him understand that it was the most powerful word in the English language. I still drive my friends, family and clients crazy but they tolerate it because my why questions are effective.
As a child we ask why to find meaning to the things around us but as we get older sometimes we forget to continue asking. This is where my why questions come in. I seek to dig down into the root of the thoughts, beliefs and decisions that my clients are participating in. I dig into Thoughts, Beliefs and Decisions (TBD) because like the widely used TBD To Be Determined, Thoughts, Beliefs and Decisions will determine how your life with progress. Thoughts become things has become a wide understood concept thanks to the many contributes and thought leaders who took part in Rhonda Byme’s book “The Secret” from a mental spiritual perspective. And has been confirmed by doctors like Dr Bruce Lipton from a biological perspective in “The Biology of Belief.” I believe that we know more now about how to create the life we want to live.
Knowing is not enough. It takes work. It takes self reflection and sometimes we need help navigating the parts of our personality that make us uncomfortable. Digging in on TBDs in very challenging and many will cut themselves short by saying I don’t know. But if we don’t know ourselves we limit ourselves and our potential.
As we dig into our Whys and TBDs we find that many of them were caught rather than taught. Start by looking at your regular everyday life. We brush our teeth the way we do because our parents taught us as a kid. Our wake up routine is the same since high school or the military. We raise our children the way we were raised. We keep on keeping on the way we have because we feel like it’s worked this long but do we know the why behind it? While you are looking at your Whys and TBDs do so without judgement. No weighing in if it is good or bad, justified or unjustified. Rather the best measurement is only if it still serves your greatest good.