There is a pivotal point in each of our lives around the age of two or three when we start to ask the question, “Why?” I was about nine years old when my little brother Kris went through another why stage. It almost drove me to lose my mind. He had more questions than any of us had answers. Even today he still has more questions than I have answers for, but at least now Google exists. I can’t be too mad at my brother though. According to our father, I have been asking people why as long as he can remember. He said I made him understand that it was the most powerful word in the English language. I still drive my friends, family, and clients crazy with why questions; but they tolerate me because my why questions are effective.
As children we ask why as we try to understand the world around us. As we get older sometimes we forget to continue asking. This is where my why questions come in. I seek to dig down into the root of the Thoughts, Beliefs, and Decisions that my clients make. Conventionally speaking TBD means To Be Determined. Thoughts, Beliefs, and Decisions will determine how your life with progress. Thoughts become things has become a wide understood concept thanks to the many contributes and thought leaders who took part in Rhonda Byme’s book, “The Secret” from a mental-spiritual perspective. And has been confirmed by doctors like Dr. Bruce Lipton from a biological perspective in, “The Biology of Belief.” I believe that we know more now about how to create the life we want to live.
Knowing is not enough. It takes work. It takes self reflection and sometimes we need help navigating the parts of our personality that make us uncomfortable. Digging in on TBDs in very challenging and many will cut themselves short by saying I don’t know. But if we don’t know ourselves we limit ourselves and our potential.
As we dig into our Whys and TBDs we find that many of them were caught rather than taught. Here’s a helpful exercise. Look at your everyday life. We brush our teeth the way we do because our parents taught us as a kid. Our wake up routine is the same since high school or the military. We raise our children the way we were raised. We keep on keeping on the way we have because we feel like it’s worked this long but do we know the why behind it? While you are looking at your Whys and TBDs do so without judgment. No weighing in if it is good or bad, justified or unjustified. Rather, the best measurement is only if it still serves your greatest good.
In 2014 I read a lot about nutrition. I became acutely aware of the horrible relationship I had developed with food. If I’m honest, I did not understand a lot about food. Like many troubled relationships, I found that it all boiled down to a three key elements; understanding, communication, and expectation.
In order to understand the growth that took place, let me tell you how it started. I grew up in a healthy household where I enjoyed home-cooked meals that were well balanced with fruits and vegetables. My mother was a full-on veggie lover who loved to exercise and always told me she was a “fat kid”. I did not understand how that was possible when I was a pretty skinny kid/teenager. Like most young people I did not really like the wide variety of vegetables that she did so I stayed very close to broccoli, green beans and salads but I could eat a whole pepperoni pizza and never gained weight. My friends called me “Ribs” in junior high school because you could see my ribs when I wore a bathing suit.
A major shift happened while I was in high school; my mom fell ill, and our roles reversed. I became the bread winner, household shopper, and chef. I wasn’t old enough to understand the value of the substance and make up of our bodies. So, I made the unknowingly made the mistake of choosing quick and easy routes to meals and food. The majority of the time that meant frozen and microwaveable. A while later I started to notice that I was gaining weight and feeling sluggish. I decided I was eating too much so I started taking diet pills to suppress my appetite. Since I didn’t like coffee I would drink 2-3 energy drinks a day. My body was communicating that it needed fuel and expected nutrient rich food, but I did not understand. I was communicating that I wanted to look like the girls in the videos and magazines and and was still expecting to slim down.
As a requirement for college I took a health class and I learned great information on what I needed to have a healthy well balanced diet. It did help that I had at least started eating less food. I alternated between salads, frozen microwavable dishes, and over-cooked vegetables. I still took diet pills and drank energy drinks. I had developed a sugar addiction and was often stressed out. I was dealing with my mother’s multiple sclerosis, attending college, and working full-time and the weight just piled on. I visited my Uncle Dwayne before he was going into gastric bypass surgery and after not seeing me for ten years he had much wisdom to share on the unhealthy pathologies that our family shared with food. I spilled all the beans on what I was doing to myself. He made me promise to stop with the diet pills and energy drinks. He never made it out of that surgery so I could not go back on that promise. Our conversation also took the blinders off to the world of weight problems that I had only just begun to understand. Years of unhealthy eating and stress had helped me to get up to 230 lbs. At only 5 feet 4 inches tall, something had to change and it did!
Two of the best friends anyone could ever have taught me about food. This sounds funny and simple, but it was true. They helped me learn how to buy, cook, and eat healthy fresh and flavorful food. I learned optimal food combinations, portion control, and healthy sweet tooth alternatives. With the assistance of this wonderful support team, I started 2014 as a vegetarian who ate the rainbow of foods. I juiced fruits and vegetables as well as prepared my meals in advance to accommodate my busy schedule. I soon started feeling different, vibrant, healthy and alive. Mid-year I started eating fish and some small portions of meat, but I did not abuse my body the same way I previously had. I also kicked the habit of running to food when I felt stress. Moreover, through prayer, meditation and clear communication I have learned how to remove, avoid, and limit unhealthy stress. I have seen the needle on the scale go down which is nice but what is even more fulfilling is I know that I am well on my way to being healthier. I am being loving to my body, and it feels great!
The most important lessons I learned were very simple and could be applied to many different areas of life. The first and most valuable lesson I learned was: what you put in impacts what you get back. Like the adage “You are what you eat!” If you are loading yourself up with crap, you are going to feel like it. I started eating more foods that are grown on plants not manufactured in plants. The fresh fruits and vegetables that now occupy the majority of my dietary intake give me life, not a bunch of chemicals that I cannot pronounce and my body does not know how to break down.
The second most valuable lesson that I learned was support and accountability is key. I didn’t feel alone with friends to talk to when I was going to fall off the bandwagon. We started sharing holidays together when we thought we were not strong enough to resist the heavy food our families prepared. Last but certainly not least I learned that I had to keep my diet flavorful and exciting, which took preparation and time. I had to learn to try different things and step outside my comfort zone. Subsequently, I realized that it was a great thing to invest time and energy in preparing my food. I remember when I was always rushing to get some food so I can do this or that but this revelation hit me like a ton of bricks, “If you keep running on fumes you are going to run out of fuel!”
My hope for you in this next year is that this somehow encourages you invest in yourself from the inside out.
If you are looking for other ways to continue to revolutionize your diet or life in general take some time to check out our other blogs and/or contact us for your first coaching session. We dedicate every day of our lives to make a LifeonSprings Easy, Effective, Sustainable, and Enjoyable. Let’s thrive together in 2015!