Tag: LIFESTYLE CHANGE

What’s your Why?

There is a pivotal point in all of our lives around the age of two or three when we start to ask the question Why? When my little brother Kris went through his why? stage I was about nine years old and I thought I was going to lose my mind. He had more questions than any of us had answers for, a matter of fact, he still has more questions that I have answers for sometimes but at least now he has Google. I can’t be too mad at my brother. According to my father I have been asking people why as long as he can remember. He said I made him understand that it was the most powerful word in the English language. I still drive my friends, family and clients crazy but they tolerate it because my why questions are effective. 

As a child we ask why to find meaning to the things around us but as we get older sometimes we forget to continue asking. This is where my why questions come in. I seek to dig down into the root of the thoughts, beliefs and decisions that my clients are participating in. I dig into Thoughts, Beliefs and Decisions (TBD) because like the widely used TBD To Be Determined, Thoughts, Beliefs and Decisions will determine how your life with progress. Thoughts become things has become a wide understood concept thanks to the many contributes and thought leaders who took part in Rhonda Byme’s book “The Secret” from a mental spiritual perspective. And has been confirmed by doctors like Dr Bruce Lipton from a biological perspective in “The Biology of Belief.” I believe that we know more now about how to create the life we want to live. 

Knowing is not enough. It takes work. It takes self reflection and sometimes we need help navigating the parts of our personality that make us uncomfortable. Digging in on TBDs in very challenging and many will cut themselves short by saying I don’t know. But if we don’t know ourselves we limit ourselves and our potential. 

As we dig into our Whys and TBDs we find that many of them were caught rather than taught. Start by looking at your regular everyday life. We brush our teeth the way we do because our parents taught us as a kid. Our wake up routine is the same since high school or the military. We raise our children the way we were raised. We keep on keeping on the way we have because we feel like it’s worked this long but do we know the why behind it? While you are looking at your Whys and TBDs do so without judgement. No weighing in if it is good or bad, justified or unjustified. Rather the best measurement is only if it still serves your greatest good.

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Creating Harmony

How you gonna win when you ain’t right within?- Lauryn Hill

By the time most people meet me they are asking me to fix something. Like my infamous friend/client Gayl who literally asked to “fix it” when she wanted to lose weight after her son was born. Little did she know how much I was going to dig into when she became my client. Like most people, she hadn’t learned to make her internal life and well-being a big enough priority. I was having a conversation with my father the one day. He was telling me about his friend who is very “successful” They have a great job, makes great money, is great with there kids but is unhealthy, has unresolved trauma and is stuck in a rut mentally. I countered by saying without inner peace there is no such thing as success. They haven’t learn to live in peace and make healing the priority. Money can’t buy self-worth, self-esteem and joy. But it can mask it with a bunch of material things. It is much easier to mask what is going on in the inside when you are distracted and validated by what is going on outside.

For anyone who has been on a trip with someone they didn’t like whether is be a sibling on a long road trip or is an annoying person sitting next to you on a long plane ride. It is a pretty simple concept to understand that if you are going to spend time with someone you might want to enjoy that person otherwise it’s gonna be rough. Well, the same is true with you and how you deal with yourself. You are going to spend more time with yourself than anyone else in this lifetime. The sooner you get right with you, the easier it is to deal with life. 

You might be asking yourself what does it look like when you are “right within” If you are unfamiliar you should listen to Doo Wop by Lauryn Hill but for the sake of time I will drop these couple bars for you: 

Girlfriend, let me break it down for you again

You know I only say it cause I’m truly genuine

Don’t be a hard rock when you really are a gem

Baby girl, respect is just a minimum”

Do you treat yourself like a hard rock or a gem?

Do you expect everything to be hard and difficult. Do you act like you can handle a beating. Maybe you can, I’m not saying you can’t but is that want you deserve? Now let me delineate I’m not dispelling strength or demeaning a hard workout or evening boxing. I am talking about how you treat yourself within. What are your internal conversations like, how do you care for yourself?

How do we treat gems? With the respect and reverence. We take the time to look at them and inspect them. If you are anything like me you might have crystals that you clear, charge and research. Do you clear, charge and dig into getting to know you and what is going on within up?

“The unexamined life is not worth living?- Socrates

I believe you should examine and get real with who you are this minute. Take a quick self check. This can take 5 minutes or 50 minutes, how ever long you can stand. Sit in quiet, without distracting and check in with yourself. Start by paying attention to your heartbeat. Then breathing. Next move into to examining what is on your mind. What are you thinking about and is it worth your time. Try to visualize each thought rise up to the sky and float away with the clouds. After you have thought all the thoughts and sat with yourself as long as you can stand, give yourself a big hug and tell yourself this short affirmation:

I am loved

I am seen

I matter 

I am safe

In every area of my career I am focus first on what is going on inside of someone. I am always trying to find out the root of the issue. In fitness I am looking first on how your body works, structural compensations, stability and balance. As a life coach, I dig into what someone wants most and what is holding them back. As a Reiki Practitioner, I see where someones energy is low or out of balance. This practice of sitting with yourself is the beginning to any kind of change and growth. Anything that isn’t growing is dead.

I knew I had to change

salad-374173_12802014 was a nutritional growing period for the record books. I am not sure if I was ever more aware of the horrific relationship I developed with food and how much I did not understand about food. Like many troubled relationships, I found that it all boiled down to a three key elements; understanding, communication, and expectation.

In order to understand the growth that took place, let me tell you how it started. I grew up in a healthy household where I enjoyed home-cooked meals that were well balanced with fruits and vegetables. My mother was a full-on veggie lover who loved to exercise and always told me she was a “fat kid”. I did not understand how that was possible when I was a pretty skinny kid/teenager. Like most young people I did not really like the wide variety of vegetables that she did so I stayed very close to broccoli, green beans and salads but I could eat a whole pepperoni pizza and never gained weight. My friends called me “Ribs” in junior high school because you could see my ribs when I wore a bathing suit.

A major shift happened while I was in high school; my mom fell ill, and regret_harmonyI turned into the dominate; bread
winner, shopper, and chef. Not old enough to understand the value of the substance and make up of our bodies, I went for a quick and easy route to food. The majority of the time that meant frozen and microwavable. A while later, I started to notice that I was gaining weight and feeling sluggish so I decided I was eating too much so I started taking diet pills to suppress my appetite and since I didn’t like coffee I would drink 2-3 energy drinks a day. My body was communicating that it needed fuel and expected nutrient rich food, but I did not understand. I was communicating that I wanted to look like the girls in the videos and magazines and expecting to slim down.

As a requirement for college I took a health class and I learned great information on what I needed to have a healthy well balanced diet and it helped in that I at least started eating. I ate salads and went back to frozen microwavable dishes and over cooked vegetables, but I still took diet pills and drank energy drinks and had developed a sugar addiction when I was stressed out. Dealing with my mother’s Multiple Sclerosis, going to college and working full time meant there was enough stress to go around, so the weight piled on. Then I visited my Uncle Dwayne before he was going into gastric bypass surgery and after not seeing me for ten years he had much wisdom to share on the unhealthy pathologies that our family shared with food. I spilled all the beans on what I was doing to myself, and he made me promise to stop with the diet pills and energy drinks. He never made it out of that surgery so I could not go back on that promise. Our conversation also took the blinders off to the world of weight problems that I only started to begin to understand. Years of unhealthy eating and stress had helped me to get up to 230 lbs. At only 5 feet 4 inches tall, something had to change, and it did!

on-my-way_harmonyTwo of the best friends anyone could have taught me about food. This sounds funny and simple, but it was true. They helped me learn how to buy, cook, and eat healthy fresh, flavorful food. I learned optimal food combinations, portion control, and healthy sweet tooth alternatives. With the assistance of this wonderful support team, I started 2014 as a vegetarian who ate the rainbow of foods. I juiced fruits and vegetables as well as prepared my meals in advance to accommodate my busy schedule. I soon started feeling different, vibrant, healthy and alive. Mid-year I started eating fish and some small portions of meat, but I did not abuse my body the same way I previously had. I also kicked the habit of running to food when I felt stress. Moreover, through prayer, meditation and clear communication I have learned how to remove, avoid, and limit unhealthy stress. I have seen the needle on the scale go down which is nice but what is even more fulfilling is I know that I am well on my way to being healthier. I am being loving to my body, and it feels great!

The most important lessons I learned were very simple and could be applied to many different areas of life. The first and most valuable lesson I learned was: what you put in impacts what you get back. Like the adage “You are what you eat!” If you are loading yourself up with crap, you are going to feel like it. I started eating more foods that are grown on plants not manufactured in plants. The fresh fruits and vegetables that now occupy the majority of my dietary intake give me life, not a bunch of chemicals that I cannot pronounce and my body does not know how to break down. The second most valuable lesson that I learned was support and accountability is key. I didn’t feel alone with friends to talk to when I was going to fall off the bandwagon. We started sharing holidays together when we thought we were not strong enough to resist the heavy food our families prepared. Last but certainly not least I learned that I had to keep my diet flavorful and exciting, which took preparation and time. I had to learn to try different things and step outside my comfort zone. Subsequently, I realized that it was a great thing to invest time and energy in preparing my food. I remember when I was always rushing to get some food so I can do this or that but this revelation hit me like a ton of bricks, “If you keep running on fumes you are going to run out of fuel!”

My hope for you in this next year is that this somehow encourages you invest in yourself from the inside out.winking_harmony
If you are looking for other ways to continue to revolutionize your diet or life in general take some time to check out our other blogs and/or contact us for your first coaching session. We dedicate every day of our lives to make a LifeonSprings Easy, Effective, Sustainable, and Enjoyable. Let’s thrive together in 2015!

Personal Prison Break!

May 4th
I mindlessly spent years building a prison brick by brick. I locked myself in and swallowed the key then begged different people in my life to get me out.

Once I realized what I did I had to dig deep inside to get the key out. Once out I’ve spent time to knock the prison down brick by brick.

So when you see my rough, scared and tethered exterior? Understand it is the evidence of experience as a builder.