How you gonna win when you ain’t right within?- Lauryn Hill
By the time most people meet me they are asking me to fix something. Like my infamous friend/client Gayl who literally asked to “fix it” when she wanted to lose weight after her son was born. Little did she know how much I was going to dig into when she became my client. Like most people, she hadn’t learned to make her internal life and well-being a big enough priority. I was having a conversation with my father the one day. He was telling me about his friend who is very “successful” They have a great job, makes great money, is great with there kids but is unhealthy, has unresolved trauma and is stuck in a rut mentally. I countered by saying without inner peace there is no such thing as success. They haven’t learn to live in peace and make healing the priority. Money can’t buy self-worth, self-esteem and joy. But it can mask it with a bunch of material things. It is much easier to mask what is going on in the inside when you are distracted and validated by what is going on outside.
For anyone who has been on a trip with someone they didn’t like whether is be a sibling on a long road trip or is an annoying person sitting next to you on a long plane ride. It is a pretty simple concept to understand that if you are going to spend time with someone you might want to enjoy that person otherwise it’s gonna be rough. Well, the same is true with you and how you deal with yourself. You are going to spend more time with yourself than anyone else in this lifetime. The sooner you get right with you, the easier it is to deal with life.
You might be asking yourself what does it look like when you are “right within” If you are unfamiliar you should listen to Doo Wop by Lauryn Hill but for the sake of time I will drop these couple bars for you:
“Girlfriend, let me break it down for you again
You know I only say it cause I’m truly genuine
Don’t be a hard rock when you really are a gem
Baby girl, respect is just a minimum”
Do you treat yourself like a hard rock or a gem?
Do you expect everything to be hard and difficult. Do you act like you can handle a beating. Maybe you can, I’m not saying you can’t but is that want you deserve? Now let me delineate I’m not dispelling strength or demeaning a hard workout or evening boxing. I am talking about how you treat yourself within. What are your internal conversations like, how do you care for yourself?
How do we treat gems? With the respect and reverence. We take the time to look at them and inspect them. If you are anything like me you might have crystals that you clear, charge and research. Do you clear, charge and dig into getting to know you and what is going on within up?
“The unexamined life is not worth living?- Socrates
I believe you should examine and get real with who you are this minute. Take a quick self check. This can take 5 minutes or 50 minutes, how ever long you can stand. Sit in quiet, without distracting and check in with yourself. Start by paying attention to your heartbeat. Then breathing. Next move into to examining what is on your mind. What are you thinking about and is it worth your time. Try to visualize each thought rise up to the sky and float away with the clouds. After you have thought all the thoughts and sat with yourself as long as you can stand, give yourself a big hug and tell yourself this short affirmation:
I am loved
I am seen
I am safe
In every area of my career I am focus first on what is going on inside of someone. I am always trying to find out the root of the issue. In fitness I am looking first on how your body works, structural compensations, stability and balance. As a life coach, I dig into what someone wants most and what is holding them back. As a Reiki Practitioner, I see where someones energy is low or out of balance. This practice of sitting with yourself is the beginning to any kind of change and growth. Anything that isn’t growing is dead.