There is a pivotal point in each of our lives around the age of two or three when we start to ask the question, “Why?” I was about nine years old when my little brother Kris went through another why stage. It almost drove me to lose my mind. He had more questions than any of us had answers. Even today he still has more questions than I have answers for, but at least now Google exists. I can’t be too mad at my brother though. According to our father, I have been asking people why as long as he can remember. He said I made him understand that it was the most powerful word in the English language. I still drive my friends, family, and clients crazy with why questions; but they tolerate me because my why questions are effective.
As children we ask why as we try to understand the world around us. As we get older sometimes we forget to continue asking. This is where my why questions come in. I seek to dig down into the root of the Thoughts, Beliefs, and Decisions that my clients make. Conventionally speaking TBD means To Be Determined. Thoughts, Beliefs, and Decisions will determine how your life with progress. Thoughts become things has become a wide understood concept thanks to the many contributes and thought leaders who took part in Rhonda Byme’s book, “The Secret” from a mental-spiritual perspective. And has been confirmed by doctors like Dr. Bruce Lipton from a biological perspective in, “The Biology of Belief.” I believe that we know more now about how to create the life we want to live.
Knowing is not enough. It takes work. It takes self reflection and sometimes we need help navigating the parts of our personality that make us uncomfortable. Digging in on TBDs in very challenging and many will cut themselves short by saying I don’t know. But if we don’t know ourselves we limit ourselves and our potential.
As we dig into our Whys and TBDs we find that many of them were caught rather than taught. Here’s a helpful exercise. Look at your everyday life. We brush our teeth the way we do because our parents taught us as a kid. Our wake up routine is the same since high school or the military. We raise our children the way we were raised. We keep on keeping on the way we have because we feel like it’s worked this long but do we know the why behind it? While you are looking at your Whys and TBDs do so without judgment. No weighing in if it is good or bad, justified or unjustified. Rather, the best measurement is only if it still serves your greatest good.